He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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