After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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