We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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