Say something about gay babies.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize