I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
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i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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