i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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