you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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