Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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