HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize