...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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