1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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