My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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