So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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