Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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