i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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