He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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