Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How does one acquire holy water?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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