was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
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I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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