end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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