We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The maid of honor just puked.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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