At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
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Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So apparently I’m into choking now
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