He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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