I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize