Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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