Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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