I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize