They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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