I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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