mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize