why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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