Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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