WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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