yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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