i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
