Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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