So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
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Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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