I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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