11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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