I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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