Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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