He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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