Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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