Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize