planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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