tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize