looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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