i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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