Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
two words: eviction party
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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