If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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