Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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