I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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